


still there's this one thing - just to see you go by

by nosecoffee



Series: my junk is you [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Comedy, Dialogue-Only Challenge, F/M, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Proposals, Texting, Twitter, Vague Texting AU, elopement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 22:51:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9145639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: "So how was the honeymoon?""It was like purgatory, but with jelly snakes.""What?""Seven hour car ride, with snacks.""Ah."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'My Junk' from Speing Awakening
> 
> Soon I'm gonna run out of lyrics

John: so I bought a beanbag chair. How easy do you think it would be to fuck in it?

Alex: w h a t

John: WRONG NUMBER

~

John: so I bought a beanbag chair

Lafayette: I'm intrigued

~

"What if we wrapped his motorbike in plastic wrap and then melted it with a hairdryer?"

"Where the hell did you learn that?"

"Gift basket classes."

"Oh my god. Okay, list of revenge idea's; break into his house and burn popcorn in the microwave, break into his house and cover his bed in honey, steal his kidney, burn down his house, Alex asked for mashed potatoes, so I wrote that down too."

"I think Herc's plastic wrap idea wins by default."

"Aw yeah, winning by default is the sweetest of victories."

"D'you really think Lee deserves it?"

"D'you really think he doesn't?"

"Fair point."

"Is Laf okay?"

"I'll take him home soon."

~

Peggy: can I babysit Philip some time this week?

Hercules: sure. Why?

Peggy: my hours got changed and I'm not gonna be payed until next week

Hercules: ah

Peggy: besides, this is the only gig I got. It's this, or waitering on Broadway, and I ain't doing that again.

Hercules: why?

Peggy: you know how they are.

Hercules: how are they?

Peggy: everyone who walks in is just- *drops wallet* GOTTA DANCE *high-kicks* GOTTA DANCE *clicks while grape vining* GOTTA DANCE ALl over those tables I j u s t wiped and kick a bunch of expensive glasses off, shattering them, singing 'Memories' at the top of their lungs. Like, I don't care if you are Chita Rivera, that's still obstruction of property, vandalism, and disruption in a public setting.

Hercules: oh

~

"Ow."

"Don't do that, Alex."

"That's really great advice, Aaron. I'll just go back in time and stop myself from doing that, shall I?"

"I think you'll find that I give a lot of great advice. It's just, a lot of the time, I don't have good timing."

"Fuck you."

~

{A.Ham @A.HamOfficial  
Philip is now four. I made pasta and asked him about a drawing and immediately regretted it}

{E.Schuy @LizzieSchuy  
@A.HamOfficial are you okay?}

{A.Ham @A.HamOfficial  
@LizzieSchuy Philip just spent dinner telling me about when he's older he's going to crossbreed a spider and a shrimp}

A.Burr liked this  
H.Mull liked this  
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{A.Ham @A.HamOfficial  
Aaron's very amused. I am not}

Angel.SC liked this  
G.Laf liked this

{A.Ham @A.HamOfficial  
"They can be pets when they're babies, but once they're big, you've gotta set 'em free" no. Think of the chaos, Philip}

G.Wash liked this  
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{A.Ham @A.HamOfficial  
"They're giant, daddy, okay?" No. Not okay. That's terrifying. Am I the only person who thinks this is terrifying?}

J.Laur liked this  
J.Laur retweeted this  
Adri.L liked this  
H.Mull liked this

{A.Ham @A.HamOfficial  
'I'll call them... Spimps.' I'm actually fucking done #stopSpimps2k17}

J.Laur liked this  
J.Laur retweeted this

{J.Laur @J.LaurensOfficial #stopspimps2k17 is trending omg @A.HamOfficial what have you done}

~

"I love that you accidentally start trending Twitter tags."

"And here I thought it was my wonderful personality that made you propose."

"Shut up, you dumbass."

~

Eliza: Philip got a detention today

Alex: he's in preschool???

Eliza: they were doing an activity and the teacher asked them to describe the colour of sunshine, but to be creative

Alex: and what did he say?

Eliza: 'sunshine ejaculation'

Alex: o m g

Eliza: I don't want to know why on earth he knows the word 'ejaculation' and I don't want to know if he knows what it means but I'm blaming you either way

Alex: fair

~

{A.Ham @A.HamOfficial Philip got a detention at preschool for describing yellow as 'sunshine ejaculation'}

H.Mull liked this  
H.Mull retweeted this  
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{A.Ham @A.HamOfficial I'm torn between being proud and stern.}

~

Eliza: so did I ever ask you opinions on baby names when I was pregnant with Philip

Lafayette: are you pregnant again

Eliza: dammit I'm not subtle at all

~

Lafayette: Eliza's pregnant

John: UNCLE JOHN'S NAMING SKILLS RISE ONCE AGAIN

~

John: how do you feel about gender neutral names

Eliza: THERE ARE NO SECRETS HERE, ARE THERE?

John: no. Also James is dating Thomas

Eliza: you owe me ten bucks

John: fuck I forgot about that bet

~

John: Eliza's pregnant

Alex: PHILIP IS GETTING A HALF SIBLING AND I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT???

~

{A.Ham @A.HamOfficial WHEN SOMEONE DOESNT TELL YOU SOMETHING AND YOU FEEL BETRAYED}

{E.Schuy @LizzieSchuy retweeted @A.HamOfficial's post: "WHEN SOMEONE DOESNT TELL YO..." Stop vague tweeting and talk to me}

~

Alex: so another baby, huh

Eliza: yep

Alex: with Herc

Eliza: as far as I know, there are three people I've ever slept with, so yeah

Alex: wait who's the third

Eliza: we're not having this conversation. Look, point is, I'm having a kid with my long term boyfriend. And it's gonna be great.

Alex: you have a habit of having babies out of wedlock

Eliza: that may change

Alex: WHAT

Eliza: jk

~

Hercules: I can't believe I'm gonna be the second guy that's knocked you up. Your dad is gonna murder me and dump me in a river

Eliza: aw, sweetie, he'd dump you in the lake. The rivers the first place they'd look

Hercules: that's comforting

Eliza: the only way he wouldn't murder you is if we eloped and even then...

Hercules: so if we eloped

Eliza: you want to elope?

Hercules: we've been together since before Philip was born, we've both got steady jobs and a healthy relationship with your son, and his father. Now's a good time.

Eliza: a valid argument. So, for this hypothetical elopement, would we tell anyone?

Hercules: sure. Philip, Alex, Aaron, Laf, John, Angie, Peggy

Eliza: can we tell Thomas and James, as well? For kicks?

Hercules: sure. The Washington's too.

Eliza: this isn't hypothetical

Hercules: nope

~

{E.Schuy @LizzieSchuy so guess who tied the knot and is also pregnant??}

H.Mull liked this  
H.Mull retweeted this

{Herc.M @H.Mull retweeted @LizzieSchuy's post: "so guess who tied the knot..." I got married??? Best decision of my life. Also got a daughter on the way!}

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~

"So how was the honeymoon?"

"It was like purgatory, but with jelly snakes."

"What?"

"Seven hour car ride, with snacks."

"Ah."

~

Thomas: where are you?

James: sitting in the bathroom, crying

Thomas: why?

James: I finished watching Twisted, and it's like I'm a toothpaste tube, but instead of being full of toothpaste, I'm full of tears

Thomas: I'm coming to hug you. Also Twisted?

James: the Starkid musical? Based on Aladdin?

Thomas: ah okay, you dork

~

Angelica: I can't believe you got married before me

Eliza: suck it

Angelica: and had a kid before me

Eliza: suck it

Angelica: I'm really lonely

Eliza: you'll find somebody/s

Angelica: glad you think so, but up until you met Alex I was winning our sisterly war about accomplishments

Eliza: what war was that

Angelica:....The Petticoats War

Eliza: I like it

Angelica: me too

  
Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I really hope you enjoyed this. If you did, please feel free to leave a comment and/or kudos, and track me down on Tumblr @nose-coffee. Again, thank you!


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